I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
