Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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