hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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