just come out here and I will go home with you...
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
