He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Me too!
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
