Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
