my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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