I'm lost and stupid without you.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
