I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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