Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
