Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
