Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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