after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
