its not stalking. its research.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
