oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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