Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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