I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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