She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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