she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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