you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
