Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
