Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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