Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
