i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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