Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
