it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
