I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
