The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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