yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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