i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
My breath smells like gin and sadness
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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