The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
