am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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