census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
