TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
