My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I can't turn off my feet"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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