He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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