There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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