my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You left your phone here
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