i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
