Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
