Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
