I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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