I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
