Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
