you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
