I will die if light touches me.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
