then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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