i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
