Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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