In the future we'll all be gay
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
