So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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